It can start with something completely ordinary. Your mom gets a text saying there’s a problem with a package delivery. Your dad answers a call from someone who says they’re with his financial institution. Or a grandparent gets an urgent call from someone who sounds a lot like a family member. Nothing about the situation immediately screams “scam,” and that’s exactly why these tactics can work.
Helping aging parents protect themselves doesn’t mean hovering over every financial decision they make. It means making sure they have a few simple ways to recognize when something isn’t right and know what to do next. A conversation now, a family rule, or even a five-minute pause before responding can make the difference between spotting a scam and becoming a victim.
Make “Stop and Check” the First Rule
Scammers want people to act quickly. They may say an account has been compromised, a payment is overdue, a prize is about to expire, or a family member needs help immediately.
Encourage your parents to follow one simple rule: If someone unexpectedly asks for money, financial information, a password, or a verification code, stop and check before doing anything.
Don’t click the link or call the number provided in the message. Instead, contact the company directly using a number you already trust, such as the number on the back of a debit or credit card. Sometimes five minutes is all it takes to recognize that something isn’t right.
Create a Family Safe Word
The grandparent scam isn’t new, but technology is making variations of it more convincing.
Imagine your mom receives a call from someone who sounds like her grandson. He says he’s been in an accident and needs money immediately. He’s upset, the situation sounds serious, and he asks her not to tell his parents. That’s a powerful emotional combination.
One way families can prepare is by creating a private safe word or phrase. If someone calls claiming to be a family member who needs emergency help, your parent can ask for the safe word. Choose something memorable but difficult for someone outside the family to guess. Avoid pet names, birthdays, schools, or other information that may be available on social media.
Make It Easy to Ask for a Second Opinion
Tell your parents you want them to call you when they’re unsure about something, even if the situation turns out to be legitimate. You might even create a family policy: Before sending money because of an unexpected request, purchasing gift cards for someone, transferring funds to a stranger, or sharing banking information, call someone you trust first.
And when they do call, how you respond matters. If your dad calls about a text that’s clearly fake, resist the urge to say, “Dad, that’s obviously a scam.” Instead, try, “I’m glad you checked.” You want the next questionable message to result in another phone call, not hesitation because your parent is embarrassed to ask.
Create a Trusted Contact List
Scammers often include phone numbers and links that direct victims right back to them.
Help your parents create a short list of numbers they know they can trust, such as their financial institution, credit card companies, immediate family members, and other key financial contacts.
Place a printed copy near the phone or refrigerator with a simple reminder at the top that might say something like: Don’t call the number they give you. Call the number you already trust. That way, if a caller says there’s suspicious activity on a debit card, for example, your parent can hang up and call the financial institution directly.
Talk About Scams Before They Happen
You don’t need to schedule a formal family meeting about fraud. Just make scams part of everyday conversation.
Maybe your dad receives a text saying: “USPS: We were unable to deliver your package. Confirm your address and pay a $0.30 redelivery fee.” While this fee doesn’t sound like much, that small payment can be a way for someone to gather personal financial information, leading to future fraudulent activity.
Talking through examples like this helps parents recognize the pattern when a similar message arrives. Consider doing a quick “scam check” every month. Ask whether they’ve received any strange calls, texts, emails, or social media messages lately. It doesn’t have to be serious. The goal is simply to keep the conversation going.
Use Technology as a Backup
Technology may be part of the problem, but it can also be part of the solution. Help your parents turn on account alerts for their bank and credit card accounts to help them monitor large purchases, online transactions, ATM withdrawals, transfers, password changes, and other activity.
Review their passwords, too. Important financial accounts should have unique passwords, and multi-factor authentication should be turned on whenever it’s available. You can also help reduce unwanted calls and texts by using the spam-filtering features built into many smartphones and wireless services.
While these steps won’t eliminate scams, they can make it easier to spot suspicious activity quickly.
Pay Attention to Changes
Sometimes the first warning sign isn’t a strange phone call but a change in behavior. Maybe your mom suddenly starts buying gift cards, your dad mentions a new online friend who needs financial help, or someone has told them not to discuss a financial situation with family members. Scammers often try to isolate their victims, so any request to “keep this between us” should be a warning sign.
Pay attention and ask questions when something seems different, but don’t immediately assume they’ve been scammed. Find out who they’re talking to, whether money has been requested, and if they’ve shared any financial information. If you’re concerned, ask them to hold off on sending money while you verify the situation together. And if money or account information has already been shared, contact their financial institution right away.
Make It Harder for Scammers to Win
You can’t protect your parents from every scam that comes their way, but you can make it much harder for a scammer to succeed. Most scams depend on the same things: urgency, emotion, and isolation. Take those advantages away. Keep the conversation open, make it easy for your parents to ask for help, and remind them there’s never a reason to rush when money or personal information is involved. A scammer wants an immediate answer. Your parents don’t have to give them one.
